The Beating of my Hearts
by BornScreaming
Summary: "A friend at first" he answers quietly pushing down the sudden hurt. Martha huffs a laugh. "I thought you were going to say he was your secret brother or something". The Doctor looks at her exasperated. "You've been watching too much TV. But, now that you mention it." the Doctor draws in a deep breath and rubs his jaw "I guess you could say, he's my husband."


The Beating of my Hearts.

"Nice chips" Jack commented from his chair situated at the small makeshift table in the abandoned warehouse, a fire burning in a barrel nearby, as Martha sat down.

"Actually, they're not bad". The Doctor said replied, looking at Jack before he continues eating. Meeting Jacks eyes, Martha gives him a look. Jack turns to the Doctor and asks what they're both dying to know the answers to;  
"So Doctor, who is he? How did the ancient society of Timelords create a psychopath?" Martha picks up where Jack left off, looking at the Doctor, "And what is he to you? Like a colleague or…."

The Doctor looks down at his crossed legs. "A friend at first" he answers quietly pushing down the sudden hurt. Martha huffs a laugh. "I thought you were going to say he was your secret brother or something". The Doctor looks at her exasperated.  
"You've been watching too much TV. But, now that you mention it." the Doctor draws in a deep breath and rubs his jaw "I guess you could say, he's my husband."

Martha and Jack look at him, shock written plainly on their faces. "What?! You married him?!" Jack all about shouts, shooting forward in his seat. The Doctor looks at him, suddenly looking so tired, as if you could see all the years he's lived within his eyes.

"It wasn't always this way Jack, it all started on Gallifrey. It may have been perfect to look at. And it was, it was beautiful. He was beautiful." The Doctor says, looking into the distance, reality fading around him as he's lost within his memory of things long gone. He continues speaking, his voice filled with passion and pain, awe and agony.  
"They used to call it the Shinning World of the Seven Systems. And on the Continent Endeavor, in the Mountains of Solace and Solitude there stood the Citadel of the Timelords, the oldest and most mighty race in the universe looking down on the galaxies below. Sworn never to interfere, only to watch". He continues explaining to his young human companions, not truly seeing them. "Children are taken from their families at the age of eight to enter the Academy. And some say that's where it all began. When he was a child. That's when the Master saw eternity. As a novice, he was taken for initiation. He stood in front of the Untempered Schism, it's a gap in the fabric if reality through which you can see the whole of the vortex. You would stand there, eight years old, staring at the raw power of the time and space. Some would be inspired, some would run away and some would go mad". He draws a painful breath, bracing himself before going on as if his lives depended on it.

"And it wasn't noticeable at first. The Drums. The madness. We were young, barely 80 years old, just teenagers, when we bonded. So young, so in love. The thing about Timelords bonds is that they're made out of love. Pure, unadulterated love from both sides. They can't be broken and that scared him. It terrified him. So he ran. He ran away from me, he ran away from our love and into the embrace of madness".  
He huffs a laugh, "He always used to say that the only thing that would drown out the sounds of the drums, make them stop, was the beating of my hearts at we held each other". The Doctor pauses and draws in a shaky breath, his next words filled with pain, lifetimes of pain; "And it hurt. It hurt so much when he ran. My hearts broke when he left. I couldn't stay at the Academy where we had been so happy, so in love. So I stole a T.A.R.D.I. S and ran. Ran away from the pain. And I never stopped." The Doctor draws a shaky breath, tries to swallow around the lump that has formed within his throat and whips away the tears that have gathered in his eyes. "I though he died on Gallifrey, in the Time War with the rest of them. 900 years he left a hole in my hearts, one that will never be filled." The Doctor shivers suddenly as if coming down with a sudden chill and he's trying to shake off years, lifetimes of heartbreak off.  
"I don't know" he says suddenly remembering Martha and Jacks presence.

They're all quiet for a moment. Martha is looking down at her lap, when Jack sighs slumping back into his seat from where he had been leaning forward enraptured before he says "Doctor, I'm sorry. But what about Rose? What about the Master? He has a wife, Lucy."  
The Doctor looks at Jack, pushing away the constant ache in his chest. "Oh you can love others, but it wouldn't be true. Wouldn't be real. You can't be with them. You physically can't be with anyone else. He might be married on paper, but that's all it is, paper. And as for Rose, I loved her sure, but I will always be in love with him. My hearts beat for him and only him. Same goes for the Master and Lucy. It's physically impossible. The ultimate monogamy."

Martha opens her mouth to say something when Jacks wrist watch starts beeping.

* * *

A single gunshot is rings throughout the observation deck of the aircraft Valiant. The Master stumbles backwards and within a Timelords heartbeat the Doctor has him encircled within his arms as he lowers him to the ground. "There you go. I've got you. I've got you." He says as he looks down at the Master, his Koschei in his arms.

"Always the women" he mutters looking up at the Doctor, his Theta, and his hand clutching the arms holding him.

"I didn't see her" the Doctor says trying to hide the break in his voice.

The Master sneers "Dying in your arms. Happy now?"

"It's just a bullet, come on regenerate!" the Doctor croaked. _Please Koschei_, he whispered through their link, _don't do this to me, don't you dare_, as he held his fallen Timelord. "Regenerate!"

In that moment everything else and everyone around them dissolved and they were no longer the Doctor and the Master, but Theta Sigma and Koschei, two Timelords in love. Koschei smiled at the pain, love and desperation he could hear within Theta's voices, the agony and sadness he could see within those eyes. "I guess you don't know me so well" _Oh Theta, my love, it hurt_s "-I refuse".

Tears gathered in Theta's eyes as the meaning behind those words hit his aching hearts. "No….No come on, it's can't end like this!" he cried, a tear falling down his cheek. _Please Koschei, not now, not like this. Please!_

Desperately Theta rambled "You and me, all the things we've done together. The axons remember the Axons! And the Daleks!" _Please Kos, my love_ "We could travel together. No more running, just you and me" Theta desperately clutched Koschei to his aching chest "-just regenerate!" Theta pleaded. "We're the only two left". His voice and body shaking, tears falling freely and hearts shattering into a million pieces, "I've got no-one else" _I can't lose you again. Not now. Not like this. Please._ "…Regenerate!" Theta shouted desperately, already knowing what his answer would be.

Koschei apologized silently, basking in the love and desperation Theta sent through their link. _It hurts my love, my Theta_. He gave Theta a weak smile, "How about that" _I'm sorry, so sorry_ "I win".

Koschei paused thinking. Something was missing. Something. Something. Something. What was it? What? What? What? He looked into crying, pain-filled eyes. Oh, he knew. With his lasting strength he stared into those eyes. Oh, how he loved those eyes, still beautiful even in this regeneration. How he had loved looking into young Theta's bright purple eyes as they made love, as they held each other in their arms. He clutched at the weeping Theta "It's stopped Theta, my love, you could always make the drums stop". _I never stopped loving you Theta. I'm sorry I ran. I'm sorry I ran from our love. I love…_. Happiness, awe, pain and love, never-ending love, fill their bond before it abruptly breaks as Koschei draws his last breath, his hearts stop beating and his body goes slack within Thetas arms. And Thetas hearts shatter into a million billion pieces, never to be healed, as realization crashes upon him as he cries out in agony when he feels the violent breaking of the bond. Koschei is dead.

"No! Koschei, no please! You can't do this to me! I can't loose you. Please!" Theta cried out and begged, clutching Koschei's body to him, wishing to wake from this nightmare. Tears falling freely as he continued held his fallen Timelord to his throughout the night, begging him to come back. Not Jack nor Martha could pry them apart that night. Theta clutched at his Koschei until he could cry no more.

As the sun set on that night, Theta picked up a burning torch and held it to the pyre holding the body of the Great Koschei. He turned away, unable to watch what was most important to him turn to ash in the wind. He drew a deep breath, shoved his hands into his trouser pockets and pushed Theta and Koschei deep into his shattered hearts and locked the doors to his hearts forevermore. He looked towards the star and whispered to the night "Goodbye Koschei, goodbye My Love".


End file.
